Comments on: An Attempt at Explaining How I Plan to Raise my Kids http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/ Thoughts on the Journey Sun, 07 Sep 2008 10:47:15 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Susan http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-31401 Susan Thu, 06 Mar 2008 04:52:29 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-31401 I may be too late to chime in on this thread, but I am deeply interested in the topic of raising your kids with Christian values in continuity with lifestyle choices. My daughter will be 2 in June, and we our expecting our second (a boy) this June. While most of the comments are very encouraging, I have found that "the world" is very vocal and extremely opinionated about how you raise your kids. For example, I have heard all sorts of criticism about the fact that my husband and I do not intend to foster the myth of Santa Claus. It seems like child-rearing is one topic that everyone feels entitled to express their thoughts on- loudly, obnoxiously and without concern for political correctness. To that end, if you ever have a particularly discouraging conversation with someone centered on raising kids- reread the above comments. Keep us all posted on how parenting is going. It's an adventure no matter how you do it! I may be too late to chime in on this thread, but I am deeply interested in the topic of raising your kids with Christian values in continuity with lifestyle choices. My daughter will be 2 in June, and we our expecting our second (a boy) this June.
While most of the comments are very encouraging, I have found that “the world” is very vocal and extremely opinionated about how you raise your kids. For example, I have heard all sorts of criticism about the fact that my husband and I do not intend to foster the myth of Santa Claus.
It seems like child-rearing is one topic that everyone feels entitled to express their thoughts on- loudly, obnoxiously and without concern for political correctness. To that end, if you ever have a particularly discouraging conversation with someone centered on raising kids- reread the above comments. Keep us all posted on how parenting is going. It’s an adventure no matter how you do it!

]]> By: Blog Recap 2007 at Trying to follow http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-30436 Blog Recap 2007 at Trying to follow Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:57:34 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-30436 [...] An Attempt at Explaining How I Plan to Raise my Kids (15) [...] [...] An Attempt at Explaining How I Plan to Raise my Kids (15) [...]

]]> By: Enjoy your Visit at Trying to follow http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-29682 Enjoy your Visit at Trying to follow Tue, 21 Aug 2007 18:23:01 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-29682 [...] [...] [...] [...]

]]> By: Ariah http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-29535 Ariah Sun, 29 Jul 2007 02:42:11 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-29535 It looks like a lot of people are subscribed to this post, so this comment is in hopes of stirring up the conversation again. I'm one month in to fatherhood and it has been splendid. I've been taking a break from blogging sort of to try and reflect on the very things this post (about raising my children) is about. I figured since so many of the comments on here were so encouraging I'd try and reignite the conversation again and see if anyone wants to dialog about raising kids in an ethical and justice manner. Any thoughts? It looks like a lot of people are subscribed to this post, so this comment is in hopes of stirring up the conversation again.

I’m one month in to fatherhood and it has been splendid. I’ve been taking a break from blogging sort of to try and reflect on the very things this post (about raising my children) is about.
I figured since so many of the comments on here were so encouraging I’d try and reignite the conversation again and see if anyone wants to dialog about raising kids in an ethical and justice manner.

Any thoughts?

]]> By: Task: Convey Our Values about Stuff and Kids « Trying to follow Task: Convey Our Values about Stuff and Kids http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-10852 Task: Convey Our Values about Stuff and Kids « Trying to follow Task: Convey Our Values about Stuff and Kids Fri, 09 Feb 2007 04:03:14 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-10852 [...] Reference Material: You might recall my first attempt at explaining my values. It’s obviously a little to long, and maybe to in your face. [...] [...] Reference Material: You might recall my first attempt at explaining my values. It’s obviously a little to long, and maybe to in your face. [...]

]]> By: Jack, Lyndsay, and Selah http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-10205 Jack, Lyndsay, and Selah Sun, 04 Feb 2007 04:02:38 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-10205 We are really glad Jody told us about you guys. We are on a very similar journey and you are way ahead of us, which I can't tell you how refreshing that is. i'm so glad that i'm finally finding people who are genuinely say no to the american dream, which is such a nightmare for much of the rest of the world, and saying yes to at least consistently pursuing how Jesus showed us to live in regard to money, possessions, and the least of these. I feel like i've been asleep just going along with this horribly wrong system for so long, and God has been waking me up...We are studying the Word with you, learning about injustice issues worldwide with you, grieving about them, and longing for the alternative possibility with you. I genuinely look forward to learning more about the alternative possibilities you all are living out right now. I have much more to say, but maybe another time. We'd love to meet you all and learn from your lives and example. We are really glad Jody told us about you guys. We are on a very similar journey and you are way ahead of us, which I can’t tell you how refreshing that is. i’m so glad that i’m finally finding people who are genuinely say no to the american dream, which is such a nightmare for much of the rest of the world, and saying yes to at least consistently pursuing how Jesus showed us to live in regard to money, possessions, and the least of these. I feel like i’ve been asleep just going along with this horribly wrong system for so long, and God has been waking me up…We are studying the Word with you, learning about injustice issues worldwide with you, grieving about them, and longing for the alternative possibility with you. I genuinely look forward to learning more about the alternative possibilities you all are living out right now.
I have much more to say, but maybe another time. We’d love to meet you all and learn from your lives and example.

]]> By: Ariah http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-8479 Ariah Sat, 20 Jan 2007 08:01:54 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-8479 Patrick, Phil and Cynthia, Thanks for the encouraging comments. I'm quite glad you took the time to stop by and leave a comment. I'm definitly continuing to think about the issues that I talked about and brought up in this post. I recently wrote a response to an email from another reader of my blog, that you might want to check out: http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/20/protecting-our-children-while-caring-for-others/ let me know what you think. Patrick, Phil and Cynthia,

Thanks for the encouraging comments. I’m quite glad you took the time to stop by and leave a comment. I’m definitly continuing to think about the issues that I talked about and brought up in this post. I recently wrote a response to an email from another reader of my blog, that you might want to check out:
http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/20/protecting-our-children-while-caring-for-others/

let me know what you think.

]]> By: Cynthia Armistead http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-8421 Cynthia Armistead Fri, 19 Jan 2007 17:35:54 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-8421 Hi there :-) I don't think we've "met" before, and to be honest I have no idea how I ended up on your site at all. But I did, and I saw the title of this post in your sidebar, and had to take a look. I think your plans are wonderful! How old are your children, if you already have them? Others have referred to you and Mindy - I take it that's your wife/partner's name? Kudos to both of you! My "baby," Katie, is 16 now. One of the very best things I've ever done in my life was to agree with my daughter's father on some basic common principles as to how we would rear any children we had together. We did that before we got married. Unhappily, we divorced when she was pretty young, but we stuck to those principles, which made coparenting far easier than most divorced families seem to have things (and made everything much healthier for Katie). One of the most basic things was that we wanted to raise children whose company we would truly enjoy. We hated seeing people have kids when they obviously couldn't stand spending time with them, and we weren't going to have ill-behaved children who nobody would WANT to be around (who were usually acting out because their parents were inconsistent and didn't give them enough real love and attention in the first place). Katie's father died in 1999, shortly after her 9th birthday, after a two-year battle with leukemia. I can honestly say that those nine years were very good ones, and she has many memories of real time spent with her father. The legacy of consistency and an emphasis on respect towards every being, and acting with true (not superficial barebones "etiquette") courtesy towards everyone will serve every child for a lifetime. It opens doors for Katie every single day. People in every setting seek me, my partner, and my parents out to comment on Katie's grace and poise, and how well she interacts with people of all ages. When they learn that we homeschooled her for five years after her father died, they're especially surprised (they usually assume that homeschooling = social awkwardness, which is silly). She's comfortable with little ones and elderly people, and has retained a sweetness that I don't see in many teens. Since her friends tend to "hang out" at our house, I have many opportunities for comparison - I don't think I'm just bragging! We constantly wage a quiet campaign to get relatives to support our greener lifestyle in terms of gifts and the like for Katie. Just a hint: It goes over better if you ask them to give gifts of family memberships and magazine subscriptions and the like, Instead of focusing on "no toys" emphasize the fact that the gifts will last all year, and that the kids will be reminded of Grandma or Aunt Susie every time they go to the zoo or get the magazine in the mail. I've made up lists of suggestions in the past, but FlyLady has (or had - let me know if you have trouble finding it) a "no clutter gifts" list on her site with suggestions for all ages which would probably be more appropriate for you. Best of luck to you! Hi there :-) I don’t think we’ve “met” before, and to be honest I have no idea how I ended up on your site at all. But I did, and I saw the title of this post in your sidebar, and had to take a look.

I think your plans are wonderful! How old are your children, if you already have them? Others have referred to you and Mindy - I take it that’s your wife/partner’s name? Kudos to both of you!

My “baby,” Katie, is 16 now. One of the very best things I’ve ever done in my life was to agree with my daughter’s father on some basic common principles as to how we would rear any children we had together. We did that before we got married. Unhappily, we divorced when she was pretty young, but we stuck to those principles, which made coparenting far easier than most divorced families seem to have things (and made everything much healthier for Katie).

One of the most basic things was that we wanted to raise children whose company we would truly enjoy. We hated seeing people have kids when they obviously couldn’t stand spending time with them, and we weren’t going to have ill-behaved children who nobody would WANT to be around (who were usually acting out because their parents were inconsistent and didn’t give them enough real love and attention in the first place).

Katie’s father died in 1999, shortly after her 9th birthday, after a two-year battle with leukemia. I can honestly say that those nine years were very good ones, and she has many memories of real time spent with her father.

The legacy of consistency and an emphasis on respect towards every being, and acting with true (not superficial barebones “etiquette”) courtesy towards everyone will serve every child for a lifetime. It opens doors for Katie every single day. People in every setting seek me, my partner, and my parents out to comment on Katie’s grace and poise, and how well she interacts with people of all ages. When they learn that we homeschooled her for five years after her father died, they’re especially surprised (they usually assume that homeschooling = social awkwardness, which is silly). She’s comfortable with little ones and elderly people, and has retained a sweetness that I don’t see in many teens. Since her friends tend to “hang out” at our house, I have many opportunities for comparison - I don’t think I’m just bragging!

We constantly wage a quiet campaign to get relatives to support our greener lifestyle in terms of gifts and the like for Katie. Just a hint: It goes over better if you ask them to give gifts of family memberships and magazine subscriptions and the like, Instead of focusing on “no toys” emphasize the fact that the gifts will last all year, and that the kids will be reminded of Grandma or Aunt Susie every time they go to the zoo or get the magazine in the mail. I’ve made up lists of suggestions in the past, but FlyLady has (or had - let me know if you have trouble finding it) a “no clutter gifts” list on her site with suggestions for all ages which would probably be more appropriate for you.

Best of luck to you!

]]> By: Phil http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-8158 Phil Wed, 17 Jan 2007 03:25:03 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-8158 My wife & I share many of your hopes & have spent the past 5+ years attempting to live it as we raise our 2 kids. As you might expect, we've had some successes, some spectacular failures and a lot of in-between. There are so many different factors, so many different battles. Remember, when you say "our culture", you include grandparents, cousins, and kids of dear friends - all of whom you probably relationship. The challenge is helping others understand your values when your kids are still too young to have completely absorbed them. I don't mean to discourage you from setting your standards high. Just be prepared not to meet them all the time. And spend lots and lots of time talking as a couple and with God to debrief and re-energize. My pathetic attempt at a blog has some examples & I'd be happy to share more. My wife & I share many of your hopes & have spent the past 5+ years attempting to live it as we raise our 2 kids. As you might expect, we’ve had some successes, some spectacular failures and a lot of in-between. There are so many different factors, so many different battles. Remember, when you say “our culture”, you include grandparents, cousins, and kids of dear friends - all of whom you probably relationship. The challenge is helping others understand your values when your kids are still too young to have completely absorbed them.

I don’t mean to discourage you from setting your standards high. Just be prepared not to meet them all the time. And spend lots and lots of time talking as a couple and with God to debrief and re-energize.

My pathetic attempt at a blog has some examples & I’d be happy to share more.

]]> By: Patrick http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7914 Patrick Mon, 15 Jan 2007 01:44:03 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7914 Your aspirations for parenting are far different from what our culture expects. I commend you for taking a principaled stand based on your faith. Your aspirations for parenting are far different from what our culture expects. I commend you for taking a principaled stand based on your faith.

]]> By: Ariah http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7745 Ariah Sat, 13 Jan 2007 07:02:36 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7745 Wow, I really appreciate all of the encouragement everyone is so eager to give. I guess I'm not too crazy for desiring to live this way. I'll be posting a lot more thoughts on parenting and life with children in the future, so you might want to subscribe to not miss anything. Wow,
I really appreciate all of the encouragement everyone is so eager to give. I guess I’m not too crazy for desiring to live this way. I’ll be posting a lot more thoughts on parenting and life with children in the future, so you might want to subscribe to not miss anything.

]]> By: Mindy http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7736 Mindy Sat, 13 Jan 2007 03:38:47 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7736 I am with you. Min I am with you.
Min

]]> By: jody http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7650 jody Fri, 12 Jan 2007 14:30:51 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7650 good stuff. go for it! good stuff. go for it!

]]> By: Jamie http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7642 Jamie Fri, 12 Jan 2007 12:10:26 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7642 Beautiful, Ariah. Beautiful. These are the same aspirations we have for our children as well. It CAN be done! You're right in saying that you will face the most opposition family and most other "mainstream" adults. This has been the case with us for sure. Stay strong...it's a truly wonderful vision for your family and one that is indeed very attainable. :) Beautiful, Ariah. Beautiful.

These are the same aspirations we have for our children as well. It CAN be done! You’re right in saying that you will face the most opposition family and most other “mainstream” adults. This has been the case with us for sure.

Stay strong…it’s a truly wonderful vision for your family and one that is indeed very attainable. :)

]]> By: Zach http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7556 Zach Thu, 11 Jan 2007 23:10:53 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7556 That's publishable. That’s publishable.

]]> By: Rob Robinson http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7530 Rob Robinson Thu, 11 Jan 2007 17:18:19 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7530 Amen. Your thoughts represent so much of what I feel and what I would like for my own family. Thank you for writing this!! Amen. Your thoughts represent so much of what I feel and what I would like for my own family. Thank you for writing this!!

]]> By: Lori http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7524 Lori Thu, 11 Jan 2007 17:03:38 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/01/11/an-attempt-at-explaining-how-i-plan-to-raise-my-kids/#comment-7524 I can't say much now, as I am at work, let me just tell you that your aspirations are not too high. You and Mindy will be living proof that having a baby does not have to change your lifestyle, you can still live simply and responsibly, help others, and be aware of what is going on in your world. Thanks for not following the crowd, and doing what you believe in. And thanks for your aspirations of not bringing another spoiled, lazy kid with way too many toys into this world. And another thanks just for sharing, you guys truly are an inspiration to Ben and I. I can’t say much now, as I am at work, let me just tell you that your aspirations are not too high. You and Mindy will be living proof that having a baby does not have to change your lifestyle, you can still live simply and responsibly, help others, and be aware of what is going on in your world. Thanks for not following the crowd, and doing what you believe in. And thanks for your aspirations of not bringing another spoiled, lazy kid with way too many toys into this world. And another thanks just for sharing, you guys truly are an inspiration to Ben and I.

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