Trying to follow

It’s a difficult balance, receiving the love and kindness friends and family show you through baby showers and gifts, and expressing to them and yourself your values and convictions, and doing your best to keep those values intact.  It’s tough, but we are making an honest effort at it, and as cute as those babyGap outfits might look, here’s three reasons why my child won’t be wearing their clothes.

1. It’s way too expensive.  Did you know a cute little dress and matching hat cost $50 at babyGap?! First of all, baby’s grow a ton in the first year so the $50 dress is going to last about a month at best. Second, there are a lot better uses for $50 then on one outfit for your child. I’d rather buy 20 outfits at the Goodwill and use the rest of the money to provide another girl in the world the opportunity to get an education.
2. Gap continues to abuse Human Rights. Yes, they’ve done a great job marketing their benevolence with the (RED) campaign (Instead, Buy Less Crap, pg-13 link), but they continue to be implicated in sweatshop labor and human rights abuse. I will applaud steps Gap takes to clean up their act, but until I’m confident other children aren’t slaving away making my children’s clothes, they won’t be wearing Gap.
3. Gap does not own me or my children. When I used to be into brand name clothing and I’d wear a shirt with a swoosh or other logo on it my dad would ask, “Are they paying you to wear that around?” I thought it was a stupid question at the time, now I see the light. The level of intense consumerism in this country is disgusting. My kids going to be cute, I guarantee it, and she doesn’t need a name brand outfit to look it. I’m shocked by how many little ones I’ve seen recently waddling around wearing designer clothing and dressed to walk a runway, rather then play in mud and stink up their diapers. I’m scared about what we are doing to the next generation of children. The corporate gods do not own me or my children, and we refuse to lay our credit cards and cash at their alter.

If nobody else noticed, this is the third Sunday in a row that I’ll be posting about baby, with no baby in sight. It’s been a good full two weeks since I had full expected the baby to arrive. I don’t know why we were so set on this idea that the baby would come a few days early (maybe cause all the women on her side were early…). Anyways, like many other first babies, ours is still hanging out and getting a few more days of peace before entering this crazy world.

If anything I’ve learned, or have tried in vain to learn, patience. Recently, though she isn’t even 0 days old yet, I’ve felt like scolding her. How do you explain to your in utero baby that she’s really hurting her mommy’s feeling by not coming out when she was expected (she’s hurting her back, ankles, and hips too, but will stick with the emotions). I guess that’s where this idea that patience is really all you’ve got to go on, or develop, or learn to desire. I can’t scold my baby, she doesn’t know any better, and it’s not like she’s really in charge of this whole labor and birth thing anyways. So, what do I do? I love her. I patiently wait for her.

Here’s the crazy thing though. This little love is patient lesson is going to disappear pretty quick, if I’m not careful. Cause pretty soon she’ll be two and I’ll be waiting for her to put her shoes on (which she’ll insist on doing herself) to go to the park, and patience will go right out the window, along with love, if I’m not careful. If’ I’m careful though, I’ll remember I don’t need to be in a big rush anyways. If we are going to the park, the swings will wait. If we are going to Grandma’s the food can be warmed up, and if we were heading to a board meeting, we’ll it’s about time we start loving our kids more then the corporate execs.

Love is patient. It’s easy to be patient with a baby who you don’t put any responsibility on and who isn’t capable or in control of her actions. It’s going to be hard when I can blame her, argue that she’s capable of respecting other people’s time, and insist that it’s her choice and her actions. Don’t throw love out the window then.

So, without baby around it’s time to actually start putting this into practice. I, and you, need to be practicing patient love with the people in our lives. Regardless of how independent and capable the adults around you are, they need to be loved. Be patient with them, gentle, kind. Remember that they too, were once a cute little baby (some of which were one and two weeks late entering the world) and they could use a little loving patience now, as much as they did then.