Comments on: The Day After: Christmas Hangover http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/ Thoughts on the Journey Wed, 03 Dec 2008 21:50:43 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Ariah http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30408 Ariah Fri, 28 Dec 2007 22:36:00 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30408 Thanks for all the thoughts and suggestions everyone. I'm glad I'm not struggling with this alone. Fortunately, my kids too young to remember any of it just yet. Also, I think if we make a serious effort to talk about it now with the family, we'll have a good chance of shaping the kiddos up bringing as it relates to Santa and the holidays. I can't imagine trying to rework their view of things at an older age, I'd love to know how that's going. I'm definitely going to discuss this more as it seems there is a lot of wisdom from others to be shared. Peace. Thanks for all the thoughts and suggestions everyone. I’m glad I’m not struggling with this alone.

Fortunately, my kids too young to remember any of it just yet. Also, I think if we make a serious effort to talk about it now with the family, we’ll have a good chance of shaping the kiddos up bringing as it relates to Santa and the holidays. I can’t imagine trying to rework their view of things at an older age, I’d love to know how that’s going.

I’m definitely going to discuss this more as it seems there is a lot of wisdom from others to be shared. Peace.

]]> By: jamie http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30404 jamie Fri, 28 Dec 2007 18:03:46 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30404 I really liked Indie's idea about putting charities names on the wish list. I really liked Indie’s idea about putting charities names on the wish list.

]]> By: Joshua http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30401 Joshua Fri, 28 Dec 2007 15:14:20 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30401 Thanks for sharing your thoughts Ariah. (Hi Dawn!) Elizabeth and I had a really tough time this year with all of this. Living back near family made it alot harder to "control" the Christmas circumstances. Every year her family draws names for all the nieces and nephews and they exchange gifts and get together for the obligatory appetizers and exchanging of the gifts. Elizabeth and I suggested we pool all the money together and purchase an animal from Heifer International. At one point, her family was insulted by our suggestion. They calmed down a little, but the obligatory exchanging of gifts was scheduled during a time when we were unable to attend. Hmmm...maybe next year. There is definitely a magical anticipation about the Christmas holiday season that we want our kids to experience. The question is the source of the magical anticipation. Tradition always helps create anticipation, so what traditions will we start, or continue? This year, instead of gifts from my family, we went on a trip together. The time spent was alot of fun. But even though we explained to our girls that our trip was their present, they were still bummed when there wasn't anything under the tree on Christmas morning. Ariah, our neighbors have five adult children in their family and a few years ago, they all started making gifts for each other. They draw names still, but instead of purchasing, the gift has to be homemade somehow. It still takes some money but it also takes some effort and time. Maybe this could be a step for your family away from the typical American Christmas. Thanks for sharing your thoughts Ariah. (Hi Dawn!) Elizabeth and I had a really tough time this year with all of this. Living back near family made it alot harder to “control” the Christmas circumstances. Every year her family draws names for all the nieces and nephews and they exchange gifts and get together for the obligatory appetizers and exchanging of the gifts. Elizabeth and I suggested we pool all the money together and purchase an animal from Heifer International. At one point, her family was insulted by our suggestion. They calmed down a little, but the obligatory exchanging of gifts was scheduled during a time when we were unable to attend. Hmmm…maybe next year. There is definitely a magical anticipation about the Christmas holiday season that we want our kids to experience. The question is the source of the magical anticipation. Tradition always helps create anticipation, so what traditions will we start, or continue? This year, instead of gifts from my family, we went on a trip together. The time spent was alot of fun. But even though we explained to our girls that our trip was their present, they were still bummed when there wasn’t anything under the tree on Christmas morning.

Ariah, our neighbors have five adult children in their family and a few years ago, they all started making gifts for each other. They draw names still, but instead of purchasing, the gift has to be homemade somehow. It still takes some money but it also takes some effort and time. Maybe this could be a step for your family away from the typical American Christmas.

]]> By: Dawn http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30400 Dawn Fri, 28 Dec 2007 14:39:54 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30400 We've talked about this before. I do not understand how our families can continue to overload us, even when we specifically tell them what they should get us. We gave both sets of grandparents specific suggestions for each of our kids; they followed the suggestions and then some. Once we had put out the gifts under the tree, I felt a little embarrassed because there was so much there! And we didn't get most of it. How do we continue to be thankful when our wishes are ignored? We chose to spend our afternoon at the downtown center for the free lunch program. We enjoyed a Christmas dinner and the company of others. It was very nice. They gave away many needed and wanted items to the people present. One of the women kept telling me to take my daughter back there to pick out the toy she wanted so it wouldn't be gone and her heart broken. I thanked the woman, but kept my mouth shut about our earlier Christmas. I felt strange. Should I tell her we just came to be with the people there, that we did not need anything? It was a good Christmas, but overwhelming in that now I feel I have an expectation to live up to with my children. If they only got a few things, then many things would be exciting. Now they get many things and if they don't I'm afraid they will become disappointed during the season. And that isn't even what the season is all about! We’ve talked about this before. I do not understand how our families can continue to overload us, even when we specifically tell them what they should get us. We gave both sets of grandparents specific suggestions for each of our kids; they followed the suggestions and then some. Once we had put out the gifts under the tree, I felt a little embarrassed because there was so much there! And we didn’t get most of it. How do we continue to be thankful when our wishes are ignored?
We chose to spend our afternoon at the downtown center for the free lunch program. We enjoyed a Christmas dinner and the company of others. It was very nice. They gave away many needed and wanted items to the people present. One of the women kept telling me to take my daughter back there to pick out the toy she wanted so it wouldn’t be gone and her heart broken. I thanked the woman, but kept my mouth shut about our earlier Christmas. I felt strange. Should I tell her we just came to be with the people there, that we did not need anything?
It was a good Christmas, but overwhelming in that now I feel I have an expectation to live up to with my children. If they only got a few things, then many things would be exciting. Now they get many things and if they don’t I’m afraid they will become disappointed during the season. And that isn’t even what the season is all about!

]]> By: gavin http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30399 gavin Thu, 27 Dec 2007 19:32:56 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30399 i don't know if i can say i have the same extent of regrets, but in many ways i am right with you brother. the amount of stuff my niece and nephews received just overwhelmed erin & myself. we talked about it on the ride home. "how much is too much?" if we got our children this amount, then this person, this person, this person, etc will get them something and that will be like 20 things.. holy crap! how do we avoid that? we have talked about possibly getting everyone to pitch in on something, like a massive gift certificate for kid stuff that is needed, as needed. beyond that, we are stumped. we did do a cool thing with on of our family "dirty santas" we started exchanging gifts from within our homes. so no one bought anything. we also had a sorta casino night where we bought chips, gambled with each other (darts, cards, loose dice game, etc.) trying to win for our designated charities. after one hour the top three money winners split the whole pot and donated to their charities. it was fun and something that was started when my cousin and i last year opted out of getting a 50 dollar gift for a donation to organizations that we are invested in. just an idea. i don’t know if i can say i have the same extent of regrets, but in many ways i am right with you brother. the amount of stuff my niece and nephews received just overwhelmed erin & myself. we talked about it on the ride home. “how much is too much?” if we got our children this amount, then this person, this person, this person, etc will get them something and that will be like 20 things.. holy crap! how do we avoid that?

we have talked about possibly getting everyone to pitch in on something, like a massive gift certificate for kid stuff that is needed, as needed. beyond that, we are stumped.

we did do a cool thing with on of our family “dirty santas” we started exchanging gifts from within our homes. so no one bought anything. we also had a sorta casino night where we bought chips, gambled with each other (darts, cards, loose dice game, etc.) trying to win for our designated charities. after one hour the top three money winners split the whole pot and donated to their charities. it was fun and something that was started when my cousin and i last year opted out of getting a 50 dollar gift for a donation to organizations that we are invested in.

just an idea.

]]> By: indie http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30398 indie Thu, 27 Dec 2007 17:43:41 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30398 What I regret is not keeping my eyes open for gifts at the thrift store all year. I went out yesterday and found perfect gifts for my daughter's birthday in April. (Of course there is always the danger of being consumeristic at the thrift store too.) This year I sent out very specific instructions and those who bothered to check their email really tried. What I think we have to remember is that our family members have a totally different world view and it is extremely difficult to escape it. I can see how horrible the consumeristic world view is and yet I find it difficult to avoid. What must it be like for those who can't even see it? Unfortunately, they are rarely or more likely never hearing prophetic preaching about this in their churches and communities. It only goes so far for us to speak about it. As Jesus said, "Prophets are not without honor, except in their hometown, and among their own kin, and in their own house." (Mark 6:4) I think that you're right, Ariah, about making wish lists. This year at the top of my list I included three charities that they could support in my name. Although nobody did that, the gifts that I received were much more modest and practical than in the past so maybe they took the hint that I really didn't want much. I'm actually quite happy with what people gave me this year. They actually did a decent job with the kids (probably as well as could be expected). As for giving to others, I felt really frustrated with the obligatory gift giving, but I was really happy with what I bought from etsy. I was a little worried that my four year old would be so spoiled that she wouldn't like what I got her (a wooden treasure chest and a felt crown with her name on it) but she was actually thrilled. What I regret is not keeping my eyes open for gifts at the thrift store all year. I went out yesterday and found perfect gifts for my daughter’s birthday in April. (Of course there is always the danger of being consumeristic at the thrift store too.)

This year I sent out very specific instructions and those who bothered to check their email really tried. What I think we have to remember is that our family members have a totally different world view and it is extremely difficult to escape it. I can see how horrible the consumeristic world view is and yet I find it difficult to avoid. What must it be like for those who can’t even see it? Unfortunately, they are rarely or more likely never hearing prophetic preaching about this in their churches and communities. It only goes so far for us to speak about it. As Jesus said, “Prophets are not without honor, except in their hometown, and among their own kin, and in their own house.” (Mark 6:4)

I think that you’re right, Ariah, about making wish lists. This year at the top of my list I included three charities that they could support in my name. Although nobody did that, the gifts that I received were much more modest and practical than in the past so maybe they took the hint that I really didn’t want much. I’m actually quite happy with what people gave me this year. They actually did a decent job with the kids (probably as well as could be expected).

As for giving to others, I felt really frustrated with the obligatory gift giving, but I was really happy with what I bought from etsy. I was a little worried that my four year old would be so spoiled that she wouldn’t like what I got her (a wooden treasure chest and a felt crown with her name on it) but she was actually thrilled.

]]> By: jamie http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30395 jamie Thu, 27 Dec 2007 05:34:50 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30395 I tried making most of my gifts this year. I figure eventually they will start getting the hint. I refused to make Christmas lists for my husband and I this year. I'm just tired of it. I really liked your idea of making a symbolic present of a donation. Sweet! I tried making most of my gifts this year. I figure eventually they will start getting the hint. I refused to make Christmas lists for my husband and I this year. I’m just tired of it.
I really liked your idea of making a symbolic present of a donation. Sweet!

]]> By: josh http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30394 josh Thu, 27 Dec 2007 05:24:07 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2007/12/27/the-day-after-christmas-hangover/#comment-30394 dude. i agree wholeheartedly about the being quiet part. it sucks so bad trying to be polite and generous but then i always feel like crap about it. and i'm not sure why everybody else gets a pass on spouting their pro-consumeristic views. it's incredibly awkward though. on my side of the family i let my parents have it and we have robust conversations on all kinds of economic philosophies. not so easy with the in-laws. i told anna about 15 times that next year i'm just going to be a bad ass and confront everybody and make them feel like crap everytime they share a stupid opinion by asking them like a hundred questions about the books they've read, the differences between complicated terms and all other stuff. i figure if i jump them and make them feel stupid they'll at least shut up. so much for merry christmas when i turn into scrooge eh? dude. i agree wholeheartedly about the being quiet part. it sucks so bad trying to be polite and generous but then i always feel like crap about it. and i’m not sure why everybody else gets a pass on spouting their pro-consumeristic views.

it’s incredibly awkward though. on my side of the family i let my parents have it and we have robust conversations on all kinds of economic philosophies. not so easy with the in-laws.

i told anna about 15 times that next year i’m just going to be a bad ass and confront everybody and make them feel like crap everytime they share a stupid opinion by asking them like a hundred questions about the books they’ve read, the differences between complicated terms and all other stuff. i figure if i jump them and make them feel stupid they’ll at least shut up.

so much for merry christmas when i turn into scrooge eh?

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