Comments on: What Should I Read About: Marriage http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/ Thoughts on the Journey Mon, 06 Oct 2008 22:01:20 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Ariah http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-35820 Ariah Thu, 15 May 2008 04:13:03 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-35820 I just put it on hold! Thanks for the recommendation Chris I just put it on hold!
Thanks for the recommendation Chris

]]> By: Chris Vogt http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-35623 Chris Vogt Sat, 10 May 2008 02:48:39 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-35623 My favorite book on marriage I read year ago called As For Me and My House by Walter Wangerin. I really enjoyed, he uses a lot of personal examples from his own life and he is a really good writer too. My favorite book on marriage I read year ago called As For Me and My House by Walter Wangerin. I really enjoyed, he uses a lot of personal examples from his own life and he is a really good writer too.

]]> By: jamie http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33967 jamie Fri, 02 May 2008 16:20:34 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33967 "To Become One" by Chris Seay and Chad Karger. I haven't read this next suggestion, but I would like to: "Aflame: Ancient Wisdom on Marriage" by Bethany and Sam Torrode “To Become One” by Chris Seay and Chad Karger.
I haven’t read this next suggestion, but I would like to: “Aflame: Ancient Wisdom on Marriage” by Bethany and Sam Torrode

]]> By: Indie http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33736 Indie Fri, 02 May 2008 04:11:05 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33736 I don't really have anything constructive to add, but I have to say to say that the Pearls scare the crud out of me. I don’t really have anything constructive to add, but I have to say to say that the Pearls scare the crud out of me.

]]> By: Bethany Pledge Erickson http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33734 Bethany Pledge Erickson Fri, 02 May 2008 04:09:10 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33734 I would recommend, with a few caveats, the book Passionate Marriage. http://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Marriage-Intimacy-Committed-Relationships/dp/0805058265 It is not a Christian book, and you should beware the explicit narratives of the sex lives of the couples the author counsels. That said, I found it wonderful food for thought. Several of the insights make a lot of sense to me, such as pointing out that not all conflicts are caused by miscommunication - we have real conflicts of interest, and sometimes I don't WANT to hear what my husband is clearly communicating. I think the author is also right in that, if we want to be truly known, we're going to have to tell the truth about ourselves, and we cannot dictate our listener's response. That has actually been good advice for dealing with my parents. Both of those point stand in contrast to some other marriage advice I've read, like Men Are From Mars..., which focuses on saying things in the "right" way so that your spouse will be more receptive. Also, the author does a great job of talking about the meaning of sex, and he argues that a lot of advice about technique misses the point. All of this I find refreshing coming from a non-Christian point of view. I also find anything by John Gottman interesting. http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1209701070&sr=1-2 Gottman has done tons of methodical/scientific/mathematical type research on couples, and he has some surprising things to say. (His work is referenced in "Blink," if anyone has read that book.) Great question, Ariah. And good advice from Jerry Root. Peace! I would recommend, with a few caveats, the book Passionate Marriage.

http://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Marriage-Intimacy-Committed-Relationships/dp/0805058265

It is not a Christian book, and you should beware the explicit narratives of the sex lives of the couples the author counsels. That said, I found it wonderful food for thought. Several of the insights make a lot of sense to me, such as pointing out that not all conflicts are caused by miscommunication - we have real conflicts of interest, and sometimes I don’t WANT to hear what my husband is clearly communicating. I think the author is also right in that, if we want to be truly known, we’re going to have to tell the truth about ourselves, and we cannot dictate our listener’s response. That has actually been good advice for dealing with my parents.

Both of those point stand in contrast to some other marriage advice I’ve read, like Men Are From Mars…, which focuses on saying things in the “right” way so that your spouse will be more receptive.

Also, the author does a great job of talking about the meaning of sex, and he argues that a lot of advice about technique misses the point. All of this I find refreshing coming from a non-Christian point of view.

I also find anything by John Gottman interesting.

http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1209701070&sr=1-2

Gottman has done tons of methodical/scientific/mathematical type research on couples, and he has some surprising things to say. (His work is referenced in “Blink,” if anyone has read that book.)

Great question, Ariah. And good advice from Jerry Root. Peace!

]]> By: tiffany http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33729 tiffany Fri, 02 May 2008 03:10:17 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33729 I read sacred marriage by gary thomas...i really liked it and actually remember some stuff from it...but it may be too old school for you; not sure. i'd be worth perusing at least! :) I read sacred marriage by gary thomas…i really liked it and actually remember some stuff from it…but it may be too old school for you; not sure. i’d be worth perusing at least! :)

]]> By: jason http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33616 jason Thu, 01 May 2008 18:26:25 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33616 yeah thats it....though i am not a Pearl fan...its got some wisdom in it... yeah thats it….though i am not a Pearl fan…its got some wisdom in it…

]]> By: Ariah http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33575 Ariah Thu, 01 May 2008 17:00:58 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33575 Thanks for the suggestion, I'll take a look,. Did you mean Created to Be His Help Meet? That's by Debi Pearl. Might be worth browsing, even if it's main audience is women. My favorite before we got married was The Mystery Of Marriage Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll take a look,.
Did you mean Created to Be His Help Meet?
That’s by Debi Pearl. Might be worth browsing, even if it’s main audience is women.

My favorite before we got married was The Mystery Of Marriage

]]> By: jason http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33506 jason Thu, 01 May 2008 13:32:08 +0000 http://blog.iamnotashamed.net/2008/05/01/what-should-i-read-about-marriage/#comment-33506 mmmh, book suggestions? well my wedding vows were part of Ephesians 5, my wife really liked "created to be his helpmate", have not read any myself... mmmh, book suggestions? well my wedding vows were part of Ephesians 5, my wife really liked “created to be his helpmate”, have not read any myself…

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