What Should I Read About: Marriage
Every year, since I’ve been married (five years on June 21st!), I tried to read at least one book on marriage. That’s advice from Jerry Root, Pre-marriage counselor extraordinaire, who also suggest that in twenty years you write a book on marriage, because then as a couple you’ll have 40 years experience and the collective knowledge of 40+ marriage books.
Anyways, I haven’t read one this year so I’m looking for suggestions. But, I’m also just looking for blog posts, articles, advice, etc. If you’ve got some thing leave a comment, or paste the URL below:
And since we are on the topic of marriage, here is me and my beautiful bride on our wedding day…
mmmh, book suggestions? well my wedding vows were part of Ephesians 5, my wife really liked “created to be his helpmate”, have not read any myself…
Thanks for the suggestion, I’ll take a look,.
Did you mean Created to Be His Help Meet?
That’s by Debi Pearl. Might be worth browsing, even if it’s main audience is women.
My favorite before we got married was The Mystery Of Marriage
yeah thats it….though i am not a Pearl fan…its got some wisdom in it…
I read sacred marriage by gary thomas…i really liked it and actually remember some stuff from it…but it may be too old school for you; not sure. i’d be worth perusing at least! :)
I would recommend, with a few caveats, the book Passionate Marriage.
http://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Marriage-Intimacy-Committed-Relationships/dp/0805058265
It is not a Christian book, and you should beware the explicit narratives of the sex lives of the couples the author counsels. That said, I found it wonderful food for thought. Several of the insights make a lot of sense to me, such as pointing out that not all conflicts are caused by miscommunication - we have real conflicts of interest, and sometimes I don’t WANT to hear what my husband is clearly communicating. I think the author is also right in that, if we want to be truly known, we’re going to have to tell the truth about ourselves, and we cannot dictate our listener’s response. That has actually been good advice for dealing with my parents.
Both of those point stand in contrast to some other marriage advice I’ve read, like Men Are From Mars…, which focuses on saying things in the “right” way so that your spouse will be more receptive.
Also, the author does a great job of talking about the meaning of sex, and he argues that a lot of advice about technique misses the point. All of this I find refreshing coming from a non-Christian point of view.
I also find anything by John Gottman interesting.
http://www.amazon.com/Seven-Principles-Making-Marriage-Work/dp/0609805797/ref=pd_bbs_sr_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1209701070&sr=1-2
Gottman has done tons of methodical/scientific/mathematical type research on couples, and he has some surprising things to say. (His work is referenced in “Blink,” if anyone has read that book.)
Great question, Ariah. And good advice from Jerry Root. Peace!
I don’t really have anything constructive to add, but I have to say to say that the Pearls scare the crud out of me.
“To Become One” by Chris Seay and Chad Karger.
I haven’t read this next suggestion, but I would like to: “Aflame: Ancient Wisdom on Marriage” by Bethany and Sam Torrode
My favorite book on marriage I read year ago called As For Me and My House by Walter Wangerin. I really enjoyed, he uses a lot of personal examples from his own life and he is a really good writer too.
I just put it on hold!
Thanks for the recommendation Chris