Archive for Being Dad

Dance Like No One’s Watching

Siyaya
Tonight we went to see a dance group from South Africa at a venue just down the street from our house. It was beautiful and fun, and our daughter danced and clapped and babbled right along to the music.

It was a great concert, energetic and loud, but it was in an auditorium and the majority of people simply sat and observed. I was no exception, besides moving around a little in my seat for my daughters entertainment, I basically sat through the concert. I needed inspiration, and I found it in a elderly woman a few rows in front of us.

Every so often the woman would get out of her seat and walk to the back of the small auditorium. About the third time it struck me to look back, and I saw her dancing along to the music. She wasn’t trying to make a spectacle or perform for any reason, she simply felt like dancing.

There is something powerful about being able to inspire people to dance, and there is power in being able to throw off our social hindrances and truly let ourselves enjoy and move to music. I hope my daughter saw that woman dancing and that it will reminder her she doesn’t have to stop enjoying the rhythm and feeling the freedom of the movement.

If I can’t dance, it’s not my revolution!
-Emma Goldman

Happy Birthday Adyra (And Mommy!)

Momma and Adyra

One year ago today my beautiful wife, after a trying labor, gave birth to our equally beautiful baby girl. Today we celebrate their health and our happiness for a joyous first year and look forward to many, many more to come.

Adyra, I am so proud of the strong girl you are growing to be. You bring such a joy to my life and have taught me so much in our short time together. I enjoy every moment we have together and am so eager to see you grow and become the woman God intends for you to be.

Mindy, I am so happy to have the opportunity to parent next to you. When I could only stand by and encourage, you carried our daughter to full term (and yes, nine days over due), gave birth to a healthy little girl (at 9 lbs she wasn’t so little), and have nursed her to a beautiful and healthy one year old. I can’t wait for the years ahead as we stand together and raise her to be a strong and splendid woman.

Just a Random Post About Me

It occurred (or was pointed out) to me that I haven’t really posted anything just about me recently, and because there seems to have been an influx of new readers, it might be wise to say a little something, so you have an idea of who I am. I’ll be brief, but here’s a rambling random insight…

I’m 25, if you want to bother keeping track still (October 7th), but I married up; in age, style, looks, intelligence, charm, she’s way out of my league…which is why my kid is so stinking cute (and smart). I’ve been married almost five years, yeah I know, it’s nuts. Graduated high school in 2000, went to YWAM, cause, well, I didn’t want to go to college, but I wanted to change the world or something. The whole thing left we with far more questions and doubts then I came with, but I did meet my wife there. Had I been planning it I would have met her 6 years later, backpacking Europe or something, but I wasn’t in charge; which is a good thing.
Went to Wheaton College, don’t ask me how I got in or how I paid for it (starts with “m” ends with “afia”), but I did. Got bored (or antsy) after 2 years, so I got married, and we went and hung out in Atlanta for a year, doing after school programs with AmeriCorps. My wife fell in love with the city, which was good, because we were starting to think that’s where we’d be hanging out for a while. Went back to Wheaton to finish out senior year there, and then headed South to Nashville so my brilliant and beautiful (and did I mention charming) wife could become a Family Nurse Practitioner. Met, worked with, and lived with some amazing people for two years there before making a trek to our now permanent (I think) home in North Minneapolis. Oh, yeah and along the way we had a baby, she’s 9 1/2 months and stupendously incredible.

Any Questions?

This Is How It All Begins

Diaper

Adbusters Magazine is awesome, this page is from their recent issue about ‘cool.’ I think they nail on the head one of my fears about raising my child in this consumeristic society with this little piece. The text at the bottom reads:

Even before your baby is born, a diaper arrives on your doorsteps, courtesy of Pampers. Once he opens his eyes, his childhood will be a whirlwind of logos and ads. School will be themed with endless commercials from sponsors. His heroes and role models will encourage him to buy products. By adolescence, he will have lost most of his original thoughts and emotions; he will look for cues from the marketers who have been with him from the beginning of his life to decide how he is to look, act and feel.

One might think this is a bit of an exaggeration, but I don’t think it is. I know my own life is telling of the influence of branding on me, and even when I try to avoid being ‘branded’ my choices are at the least affected by it (even if I’m purposefully choosing the opposite). Adbusters always gets me thinking on a different level then I generally consider. They call everything into question.

So, what is the solution for us parents and us as individuals fighting the system ourselves? Imagine a new system.
I think this quote, from another page of Adbusters issue on Cool nails it on the head…
cool

“I want to live in a world where nothing is cool, where things actually are as they appear. That would be extraordinary. I want food and a living environment that are not part of some suit’s strategic vision. Cool has betrayed all of us. I want reality.” - Jessica Masse, Maine, USA

“Safe” Is an Interesting Word

In our recent search for a neighborhood and place to make home, the term “Safe” has been thrown around quite a bit by others. Those who say it are usually very genuine and well-intending: “Now that you have a baby, you’ll want to make sure you find a safe area of the city,” or “I’m sure you’ll be able to find a nice, safe neighborhood to purchase a home in.” I find it extremely difficult to respond to statements like these because of the layers and layers of underlying assumptions behind them. Let me try and break this down a little bit.

What do they mean by ’safe?’
I think the most obvious is that they don’t want us living where the feature crime stories on the evening news are located. Physical safety is their obvious concern and there is certainly some validity to that. Unfortunately, our major indicator of ’safety’ is the evening news, which tends to categorize it’s media in interesting ways, and it continually reinforces our stereotypes. First, the news covers mostly negative stories, ‘if it bleeds, it leads.’ Second, the news, and people, tend to categorize in ways we understand; so a large geographic area, falls into one categorization (just like a large people group or income level). What you end up with is that ’safe’ means living anywhere other then the area of town where the poor, and many minorities, have been isolated to.

I guess I would like to start by asking different questions, and having different concerns then ’safety.’ Shane Claiborne touches on it well:

“People sometimes ask if we are scared of the inner city. I say that I am more scared of the suburbs. Our Jesus warns that we can fear those things which can hurt our bodies or we can fear those things which can destroy our souls, and we should be far more fearful of the latter. Those are the subtle demons of suburbia.

As my mother once told me, “Perhaps there is no more dangerous place for a Christian to be than in safety and comfort, detached from the suffering of others.” I’m scared of apathy and complacency, of detaching myself from the suffering. It’s hard to see until our 20/20 hindsight hits us—but every time we lock someone out, we lock ourselves further in.” [via]

As I am trying to follow, I think the first question in deciding where to live is to ask, “What does Christ call me to?” I think a quick reading of Scripture would make it quite clear we are not first called to physical safety. Christ himself spends time with the poor and the oppressed, the ‘desperate and dangerous’ people of his day. He lives amongst the unsafe and ‘unclean’ and he speaks out to his followers to do the same, addressing injustices along the way.

Finally, as it relates to children, there is a strong lead in the Bible to teach your children to follow the faith. The goal is not to keep your child ’safe’ above all else, but rather to lead your child to truth. Having children does not mean you forsake your values in an effort to preserve their physical longevity, it means you hold that much more strongly to the truths and convictions that you know to be true, that you might properly serve to point them toward the truth.